So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
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If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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