i think my tv is drunk
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
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It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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