So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize