So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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