I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize