Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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