my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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