Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize