she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize