jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There's even glitter on my cock...
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