he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize