I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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