I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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