The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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