dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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