Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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