Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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