I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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