you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she peed on how many people?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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