mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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