Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize