College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I pour the whiskey from now on
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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