I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize