i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize