I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize