I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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