U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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