how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize