In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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