He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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