spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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