They should really pass out barf bags in church
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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