why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize