ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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