and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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