I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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