That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize