All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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