He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize