he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize