So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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