I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
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Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
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I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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