party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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