hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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