is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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