we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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