the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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