I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
BRING THE BAGELS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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