I think i peed on brittanys purse
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you never un-have a 4some
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
how drunk are you?
Several
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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