never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
3pm strippers are depressing
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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